Nothing like a freak reaction to get me to appreciate Galentine's Day even more.

Today is Galentine’s Day*. I’d intended to write a fun essay about sisterhood to celebrate it. Idealistic, perhaps a bit saccharin-laced about the solidarity, got-your-back, compassionate understanding that comes from women’s lived common experience of what it’s like to survive/thrive in a male-first society.
Then I got smacked in my face.
Full-on.
Like getting caught in the strike zone of waves coming into a beach where the break crashes again and again across your nose and into your mouth so that you sputter and try to keep your footing and fear cuts out everything but this moment—I felt a shocking moment of sudden vulnerability and peril.
This was on Saturday.
OK, it’s likely some of you will mutter, “Really, honey?” when I tell you what staggered me, but now that I’ve found some balance, I thought I’d share the irony of it. And what it has to do with aspirational ideas evidenced by powerful sisterhood.
Bowled Over by Abrupt News.
The “face smack” was fear. The “wave” was discovering yet another book has been published about the protagonist of my biographical historical novel, Jo van Gogh.
The quick reaction of disappointment, jealousy, regret—yuck, it all caught me off guard. Just one second prior to this news I’d been even keeled and tapping away on my computer; the very next second, I’m paralyzed.
Wouldn’t you know, right at this moment of discovery, my daughter texted me. I responded, “Can you talk for a minute?” And when she called, the tears burst. Feelings engulfed me. Yep, like I was drowning.
What happened? It took me into Sunday to get my bearings enough to gain a little perspective. As I began to separate myself a little from the onslaught—edge out of the emotional waves and get above them—a few beliefs shifted into focus.
Now on the other side, here’s what I’m thinking: This experience was an opportunity, a gift, to put into practice what I believe.
Or, should I say, disbelieve.
Facing Down the Lies…One by One.
“It’s a battle to get ahead.” - This idea that comparison with others and competition is the only way the world works is false. No doubt, working professionally in industries dominated by men (manufacturing, financial services), I absorbed zero sum rules and norms of getting ahead. That if one person wins, another must lose. It’s impossible not to become permeated by these beliefs by simply living in our society. Yet, in my heart of hearts, I believe that we each have a unique individuality and contribution. Comparing and judging my value according to others is a trap. But choosing to live my life by rejecting comparisons doesn’t mean I’m immune from reaction as I was this weekend.
“I have to do this on my own.” - Individualism, or the value of “pulling oneself up by the bootstraps” without help, is a pervasive myth. I can see now that one of the reasons seeing another book about my beloved protag threw me into such a tailspin is that I suddenly felt like an outlier. Cut off. Dismembered from a community of readers I believed would appreciate her story. In this case, I fell into the hole of thinking that the creation and reception of this book and its ideas is solely up to me, forgetting we are interdependent.
“There’s not enough.” Oh, “scarcity” - let me count the ways! Squandered timing, wasted effort, wrong journey, mistaken purpose—all these ideas jostled to hold my attention. Yet, looking through a scarcity lens is like looking through the wrong end of a set of binoculars. Creativity can be an overflowing fountain. I’ve seen it; I’ve experienced it. Scarcity blocks the flow. No wonder I felt paralyzed.
One final realization: Fear is a habit. It’s eye-opening for me to see wow, how quickly I slipped right into the deep. My hope is that next time I’m quicker to spot, and check, the habitual reaction to be afraid.
Life is messy.
Soooo…. nothing like a little gob smacked moment for me to test my own beliefs this weekend. But you know what, I’ve come full circle on this essay. It’s all about celebrating sisterhood. Recognizing that ideas of collective good, empathy, courage to object to the status quo, compassion, flexibility, taking a stand for progress, humility and so much more have been exemplified in my life by amazing communities of women. This fills me with gratitude.
It’s shown me the potential of a collective stand.
We could shift away from these limiting ideas and beliefs, couldn’t we? Move forward? I’ve noticed Oldster Magazine celebrates women (and men) taking bold steps to navigate life’s milestones by questioning pre-written scripts for life. Do you have any “fear” habits you’d love to make progress on letting go of?
You know what? Jo’s name deserves to be shouted from the rooftops!
Happy Galentine’s Day!

P.S. A little history on Galentine’s Day.
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